Film Review: CrashPad’s Guide to Fisting

CrashPad’s Guide to Fisting
Directed by Shine Louise Houston

Produced by Pink & White Productions
Featuring Lorelei Lee, Beretta James, Shine Louise Houson, and video excerpts of Maybelline, Mariah Cherry Christmas Special, Jacqueline Woods, Stefani Special, Red, Javier

I bet I know what you’re thinking as you look at the title of this film (and this blog post): “Fisting? …Woah, Lynsey G. Woah.”

That’s a pretty standard reaction I’ve often gotten when I’ve brought fisting in not-specifically-queer-sex-positive-porn circles. A little shifting of people’s weight in their chairs or on their feet, some quick looks over my shoulder for someone else to talk to… You know, discomfort.


And that’s to be expected, honestly. I mean, most people get uncomfortable when I bring up the subject of pornography in general. So when I start to tell them about fisting porn, and their only frame of reference for the subject is that one time they went on a pirated porn clip binge and ended up down this rabbit hole of really badly lit, soundless kink videos that looked like they were filmed by an untreated narcoleptic in somebody’s basement somewhere… Oh, come on, we all know it’s happened to you at some point!

Okay, anyway, look. I know that fisting is extremely rarely talked about. I get it that bringing it up casually falls somewhat outside the spectrum of your average daily conversation. I understand that it can conjure up images of violent depravity.

But those images that kind of scare you as much as they turn you on? They’re curated for you in such a way as to make fisting a cultural bugaboo. The act is treated as some kind of deviant sexual anomaly, something that only the filthiest of degenerates would ever participate in. For most of the history of filmed pornography, it’s been considered too taboo for most films because it’s more likely than most other sex acts to be deemed obscene and carry its filmmakers off to jail. Somehow, the idea of a fist inside a human being has been coupled with connotations of violence, degradation, and filth.

Beretta James and Lorelei Lee researching fisting before they try it (good idea!)

Beretta James and Lorelei Lee researching fisting before they try it (good idea!)

But let me tell you what I saw in CrashPad’s Guide to Fisting, from Pink & White Productions. First of all, this film is less than thirty minutes long. It features a couple (Lorelei Lee and Beretta James) browsing the internet for fisting clips, because they want to try it together for the first time. So over the course of the short film, there are four couples shown engaged in fisting, and during the twenty-eight-or-so minute duration of the film, I lost count of the number of orgasms that took place. Not just nice, little, giggly orgasms, either. I’m talking panting, sweating, writhing, screaming orgasms. In less than a half hour, I lost count of how many of them happened. Because of fisting.

And those almost-thirty minutes of the film, by the way, were not wall-to-wall hands disappearing into orifices; in its brief span, the film manages to also: instruct viewers about proper techniques several times over; show the act happening joyfully, playfully, and consensually; depict two different couples negotiating and teaching each other–one of them even has to give up and try again later; people of multiple gender expressions and orientations; a lot of laughter; and safer sex practices, to boot. There’s even a really adorable little scene at the end featuring the filmmaker and a split-second cameo from one of queer porn’s favorite stars (no spoilers here!). All filmed beautifully, per Shine Louise Houston’s signature cinematic style, and featuring relaxed performances from actors who were clearly enjoying themselves immensely.

With director, Shine Louise Houston, who I think may have also enjoyed herself immensely.

With director Shine Louise Houston, who I think may have also enjoyed herself immensely.

So, okay? People do this, and they do it with love and ecstasy in safe and consensual ways. So let’s just calm down and catch our breath and take a moment to let our fears and connotations about fisting reshape themselves, shall we? Let’s consider giving it another chance, whether in our hearts or our bedrooms, or both.

Look, in a culture where a movie that shows someone being violently murdered can earn an R rating, or even lower, in which depictions of violence are considered so commonplace they don’t even warrant a wag of the eyebrow, I’d say we could use more screaming, writhing, ecstatic orgasms on film. Until it’s considered more acceptable to see someone come than it is to see someone decapitated at the movie theater, I’m going to continue to advocate for the importance of educational pornography that depicts consensual, pleasurable, and safer sex. And if that consensual and safer sex employs fisting, then great. Show that fists can be used for good and not just violence! Particularly if those fists are filmed artfully, edited beautifully, and altogether presented in a tone that makes the viewer feel safe, excited, and empowered. Oh, and also turned on, because, FFS, screaming orgasms are dear-sweet-lord hot. This film was, in fact, so well put together and stimulating that it has been nominated for a 2015 Feminist Porn Award. So, like… Get hip with it.

Beretta learning about fisting from Lorelei

Beretta learning about fisting from Lorelei. Do you see that, “Ooooh, I get it…” expression?

In recent years, there’s been a growing movement in the queer porn world to normalize fisting as a perfectly enjoyable part of a joyful sex life, resulting in more depictions of the act in lots of feminist and queer porn, as well the now-annual International Fisting Day, celebrated every year near the end of October. And, watching CrashPad’s Guide to Fisting, it’s not difficult to see why more people want it to be more acceptable. It looks like a lot of fun.

So, hey, go download a copy of CrashPad’s Guide to Fisting, learn how to enjoy fisting safely with your partner, get turned on by how hot it is, and then get to it. Enjoy it. Have literally screaming orgasms. And don’t be afraid to talk to me about, because seriously, I’m all ears.

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