As a journalist, it’s my duty to tackle the big questions that haunt the minds of my readers. My sacred responsibility to provide answers on matters of import that keep the good people of this world awake far into the night.
Granted, I live inside my own brain, which means that I’m privy only to the dilemmas that make me toss and turn far into the wee hours. And so, my darling readers, I have reached deep into the bubbling cauldron of human curiosity. I have pondered, researched, and interviews. I have dug deep, my friends, to bring you two new articles that will slake your human thirst for knowledge.
And so, I present without further ado, my latest articles at MEL Magazine and Luna Luna:
- What Do Porn Directors Do When Somebody Farts on Set? at MEL Magazine
This article started as me trying to find out if, somewhere out there, there might be people who get paid to record themselves making sexy oohs and aahs… and other people whose job it is to dub those sounds into the sex scenes… and other people who spend their days in a studio, experimenting with the slapping noises made by different varieties of fruits and vegetables in hopes of recreating the sounds of bodies meeting. Sadly, I discovered that these jobs do not, in fact, exist, so I will need to keep writing. However, I did learn allll about queefs and farts and burbs and stuffy noses on porn sets, and it turns out that those are just as much fun to write about!
- What Labyringth Zodiac Sign Are You? at Luna Luna
This article is just important. Also, I saw Labyrinth on the big screen during the two-day-only 30th Anniversary event last month, and while I was watching it (and, let’s face it, getting extremely emotional) I started analyzing possible zodiac signs. And then I couldn’t stop thinking about it once I’d sobbed at the movie’s end and driven the two hours home from Helena. (I am, as you might have guessed, a superfan.) So, here you go, world.
Big questions, folks. Big answers. Fantastic illustrations. Perfectly perfect GIFs. Everything you need, on the Internet, in two places. You’re welcome.