This Is How Not-Cool I Actually Am: An encounter at Cinekink

So last night, it finally happened. The inevitable. I walked out of a screening of Remedy, the quite-graphic film about a young New York woman who goes into professional BDSM work, basically on a dare, and faces a lot of semi-nude challenges, as part of the Cinekink NYC festival… and ran smack into someone I work with at my day job.

It’s not that big of a deal. My day job involves working on books that span the spectrum from nonfiction parenting to Wild West fiction to really hardcore paranormal erotic romance. Cinekink is a sophisticated scene to be spotted at. The film in question was undeniably excellent from every angle. Lots of people at work already know a little bit about my “other” life, and I’m proud of being allied with Cinekink. Being public about my sex-positive and pro-porn leanings is part of the soapbox I stand on. So, no, I’m not totally freaking out that my coworker saw me there, or that I told her I do the red carpet interviews when she said she knew the filmmaker.

I’m ashamed, however, that I totally forgot to mention that I had a film running as an installation upstairs. I’m pretty embarrassed that I, Miss Lagsalot, editor-in-chief of WHACK! Magazine for three years, curator of an art exhibition about pornography at a Manhattan art space, VIP attendee of strip clubs in Manhattan, outspoken columnist, and so on… got so nervous about seeing my coworker that I totally babbled on about chupacabra in front of my coworker and her group of friends, who obviously were not interested. I just was so unsure of how to act that my brain reverted to awkward eighth-grade level chatter to fill the void of “holy shit, this is weird” that gaped between us.

I guess you can be as pro-porn and sex-positive and kinky as you want on a blog and at insulated porn industry events, but when your two different lives smash together unexpectedly… it ain’t ever gonna be comfortable. Woof.

Anyway, after the encounter, I went in to the next show and saw the gender-bending, sex-club-drenched, hilarious and hot Mommy is Coming by Cheryl Dunye, and starring Papi Cox and Jiz Lee. And I giggled a lot. And I really enjoyed the short film “Krutch,” which is basically contextualized and awesome disabled porn, and I encourage you to try to find it somehow. Rad stuff. I watched all the numerous sex scenes in these films next to a complete stranger and had a blast. Strangers are so much easier to be silent with.

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