I feel a huge weight lifted from my chest. A new sense of freedom from near-daily crises, unending tweets, and attacks on human rights, the environment, democracy, and my sanity. It’s not that I expect the deep divisions that we saw on display the past four years to disappear. There is a ton of work to be done! But at least those divisions and worries won’t be fomented every day by the most powerful person in the world. And at least we’ll get occasional breaks from cynicism, egotism, sadism, and hatred. Now we can focus on the work of healing our divisions and injustices. With all that in mind, here are some links that may help you breathe a little easier, think a little more freely, and start your 2021 off smex-positive.
From Around the Web, from Lynsey G and Others
The Sperm Kings Have a Problem: Too Much Demand
by Nellie Bowles
“In the capitalist crunch, Sperm World — the world of people buying and selling sperm — has gotten wild. Donors are going direct to customers. They meet with prospective mothers-to-be in Airbnbs for an afternoon handoff; Facebook groups with tens of thousands of members have sprung up.”
The War on P()rnhub Is a War on Sex Work, Critics Say
by Lynsey G
Tectonic shifts in the bedrock of the adult entertainment industry continued…as Pornhub removed millions of videos uploaded by unverified users.…And that move came after Mastercard and Visa stopped all payments on the platform, followed quickly by Discover. Which, in turn, happened after Pornhub vowed to change its policies about uploading, downloading, verification, and content moderation.…But, now, the thousands of pornographers who have come to rely on Pornhub as a major source of income from ads, video uploads and Modelhub are left wondering what comes next—and they’re not optimistic.
OnlyFans Creators and Sex Workers Are Getting ‘Purged’ from TikTok
by EJ Dickson
“Sex workers are concerned that TikTok’s mass removals are a sign of a future in which the platform is hostile to them as well. ‘It’s really discouraging that TikTok could just delete our accounts without warning because of what we do on another site that’s unrelated to TikTok,’ says [Ally] Hardesty.”
How to watch VR p//rn: Everything you need to know
by Mark Hay
“So how exactly do you watch VR porn? Mashable recently spoke to…experts on virtual reality porn for this guide on getting into the exciting, if still developing, world of immersive smut.”
Analysis Finds “Widespread Problems” in Research Linking P0rn to Sexual Aggression
by Lynsey G
A study published this summer in the journal Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, however, found no link between porn consumption and sexual aggression. The meta-analysis, which reviewed the methodology and findings of over fifty scientific studies conducted from the 1970s until now, [is] important, because they not only show no link between the two things, but also actually uncovered that shoddy research is what allowed anti-porn groups to say there is a link in the first place.
How Many Women Have Orgasms While They Sleep?
by Justin J. Lehmiller
“Many people only associate the terms “nocturnal orgasm” and “wet dream” with men. However, it’s not the case that having an orgasm while you are sleeping is unique to any one gender. Women can have nocturnal orgasms, too. In fact, this is an aspect of women’s sexuality that was discovered, described, and (apparently) forgotten long ago.”
Audio P*rn Exploded in 2020, Says Dipsea
by Lynsey G
When the world went into lockdown early this year, Dipsea was ready. In a statement about their year, the company said that in March, they unlocked their entire library of Wellness content to help listeners connect to their bodies during a particularly stressful time. “Pleasure is usually the first thing overlooked in moments of crisis,” they wrote. “But pleasure is an important way to self-soothe, reconnect mind and body, and remember that you are worthy of joy.”
Microaggressions in Editing
by Crystal Shelley, LCSW
“Editors, like all humans, have implicit biases, which can sometimes be reflected in our edits. Although we may believe that we’re improving the copy, we may actually be undoing the conscious choices that writers have made, especially when we make assumptions as we’re editing.” Here’s a list of commonplace microaggressions that editors should be watching out for, and suggestions on how to avoid them, from ACES.
In a Relationship, Who Tends to Sext First?
by Sarah Hunter Murray Ph.D.
“It’s interesting that gender was not a significant predictor of who initiated sexting, as this appears to go against traditional sexual scripts. The authors of the study suggest that because sexting is a relatively new phenomenon, it may fall outside of longer standing sexual initiations rituals…for which we may have developed stronger, and more ingrained, gender norms.”
Sex Workers Concerned “Sell/Buy/Date” May Misrepresent Sex Work
by Lynsey G
Mainstream media doesn’t exactly have a strong track record when it comes to responsibly handling the lives and careers of sex workers. That’s one reason why, when Sarah Jones, a Tony Award–winning creator of the 2016 off-Broadway one-woman show Sell/Buy/Date announced that she would be directing a documentary version of the show, the sex industry went on high alert.
And here is a picture of my cat being condescending at me from his tower amongst the indoor plants. Majestic, no?
That’s it for links this month, folks! Be sure to check back in toward the end of February for more. And be ready to party…my birthday is coming, and I’m going to have to celebrate online, since an in-person party feels unlikely. I’m considering this sexy online party with Math Magazine… And you might consider it, too.
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And be sure to check out my podcast, my memoir, my comics, my interactive story about a zombie sanctuary, and my editorial services (or somebody else’s) on Reedsy!