A reader wrote to us a few weeks back, asking how women who perform in porn are able to keep their personal lives separate from the porn vixen personas they create for their performance lives. The first thing we thought was, “Wow, this chick must want to get into the business! Let’s call her!” But then we really thought about it and realized it was a pretty good question, and one that many of us don’t think about. After all, it’s fun to think you’re favorite porn star is a slutty, dirty, sex-hungry tramp jonesing for her holes to be filled at all hours of the day and fucking everything with a cock that walks by. Certainly more fun than realizing that these perverted harlots are actually real people with families and lives and friends they’ve had since before they became the latest bare-naked beauty in XXX films. The two images are too contradictory and therefore too confusing for your average freak of a fanboi to integrate in his brain. The image of the real person with a legal name and a private life destroys the illusion of the filthy fuck fiend out to destroy his man meat with well-placed slobber. So most fans choose not to think about the difference between real human being and sweaty sex kitten too much.
Of course, nobody here at WHACK! wants to make them think about it. We like imagining these women are weeping for a decent wang to wax or a juicy pussy to please all the time, too. But when you get into the business beyond just jerking off to and then reviewing dirty movies, when you get to know a few of the porn stars you’ve been choking the chicken to for a while, you kind of have to start thinking about them that way. And since I’m already straddling the line between wanting to straddle their faces and sit down and have tea with the ladies I’ve interviewed in the past, I figured it would be really interesting to ask them how they keep their lives and personas as professional perverts separate from their private lives. I sent out e-mails to professionals in the adult industry—performers, producers, webmasters, and others, and the results I got were a mixed bag, from women who hardly have a personal self any more to those who keep the separation between selves as black and white as their interracial movies.
Christina Cicchelli, New York’s own dearly beloved porn star, escort, domme, and writer, told us that prefers to keep her private life private. She said her porn and escorting persona is different from her private self: “As a porn star or escort, my job is to perform in someone else’s fantasy. And this fantasy element is the thin, slightly brittle boundary that keeps me from sharing certain information as Luna or Leon or Simone.” When I asked if she used her real name or stage name, she laughed. “No one ever calls me by my stage name. That’s just silly. . . . Sure, fans don’t know any better.” [Editorial Note: We have to agree with her there, you swine!] “But those closest to you do; in my eyes, if someone close to me (not a colleague or another pro) kept calling me Luna or Simone, then I feel like they’re trading in my personality for the fantasy of a character that I created.”
But Ryan Keely, also based out of New York and very active in educating the masses about good sex through her Porn Star Sex Life seminars, felt very differently about the issue. She doesn’t see much of a need to separate her private self from her professional self: “For me there isn’t much of a separation. Ryan is a little more confident, a little sluttier, but there really isn’t that big of a difference between my two selves. . . . As I have been living as Ryan for a few years now, my friends that meet me as Ryan usually continue to call my Ryan, older friends call me by my legal name. . . . My last two boyfriends I met as Ryan, which they called me for a little while. At some point, I can’t pinpoint where exactly, they start calling me by my legal name. I think for them it’s important to separate the girl they are dating from the porn star.”
Kelly Shibari, occasional BBW film star and full-time producer, webmaster, and social media guru, felt almost the same as Ryan. There’s no point keeping a strict balance between two sides of your personality, she thinks, when you can just be yourself in both parts of your life, and be happy with who you are and what you do. “I’m pretty much the same person at this point. When I first started out, I thought the right thing to do was to be this uber-whore, so my blog postings on the xxx site were all highly sexual. . . . When I first got on Twitter, my background and avatar were all naked pics, but that bored even ME! So I changed it to be closer to who I am as a person—and now the people I attract as followers (and who I chat with) are more along the lines of people I LIKE talking to. At this point Kelly Shibari is 99% who I am in real life. . . . My friends that I hang w all know the xxx part of me anyway! Less hassle, fewer headaches. I think most of the girls w some longevity adopt that policy.”
Raven Alexis, the self-styled “reality porn star” who opens up much of her personal life to her fans, said in a recent interview that she wants to, “make my personal life open to my fans. Fantasy is great, and my fans get to see that side of me with my movies from Digital Playground, but if fantasy has nothing behind it, then there is no allure to it. By seeing me as a porn star in my natural element, and that by seeing that level of sex positivity and openness that I live my life by, I know that the adult industry can become more mainstream and less taboo.” But, despite her openness, she limits what her fans can see: “I obviously do have a private life that I wouldn’t show on camera, and I have been great in the regard that my fans are super respectful for the most part.”
Wicked contract girl Kirsten Price, in an interview from last week, said she likes to keep her work and private life separate, but that, “I am who I am and for the most part my personality doesn’t change. Kirsten is however, just a bit more slutty and uninhibited.” We felt pretty hot for having the imagination to work this question into an interview, but as it turns out, WHACK! isn’t the first publication to ponder it. Brittany Andrews, in a recent writeup by Time Out New York, said that she thinks that her family doesn’t call her by her work name, but they know about her career and the separation of her life. “If you have to lie about what you do to your family,” she told them, “you harbor feelings that you’re doing something wrong and it psychologically messes with you, which can take you on a bad path.” We agree—no point getting into porn and trying to keep your work life totally separate from your personal life if it’s because your personal side thinks your pro side is a disgusting harlot. Better to just enjoy being the harlot!
So, much as we’d love to wrap this all up neatly with some proverb like, “Porn broads all have multiple personality disorder,” it looks like the ways they deal with their professional and private lives is as varied as the size and shape of their boobies—spanning the spectrum from small, high and tight nubbins with distinct personalities, to big, pendulous puddins that smoosh together into a single overspill of cleavage! Also like their boobies, some porn stars are pretty much natural, while others are product of the porn industry. With fake titties, like assumed personalities, you can stare at them all day, grope and grab and smoosh your face in them all you want, but you’ll never be able to look at an implant and be able to discern anything about its original form, just like you’ll never be able to look at some porn performers and know what their real name is, or their favorite color, or if they really enjoy anal in private life. But does it really matter? After all, whether they’re tight, perky, far-apart A cups, or fabulously fluffy F cups; natural mooshy mammaries or horribly over-filled fakes, they’re all worth staring at and working yourself over to.
—Miss Lagsalot