Taking porn into our own hands is important.
When the world is in turmoil with protests and activism and here we are at home, staring on dumbfounded as our rights are being stripped away, we need to talk about the things we’ve kept silent. Maybe taking to the streets to demand our rights back isn’t such a bad idea, but in lieu of that, we must at least make some noise. Where better to start than opening our mouths and beginning a dialogue with each other and the rest of the world about our feelings about porn?
Some of us hate it: why? Some of us love it: why? Some of us are conflicted about it, like I am: why? Is it because of how we were raised? Because we’ve seen it and didn’t like what we saw?
Every position is worth discussing because some people may be basing their ideas about pornography on mistaken ideas, whether for the better or the worse. For instance, I have a friend who has always hated pornography. We used to tease her about it, calling her a porn prude and trying to make her watch porn with us. In college, we subscribed to a porn channel and made her come eat popcorn and watch it with us, hoping to show her that it’s not all that bad. Of course, we always seemed to choose to do this on nights when what was being shown wasn’t oh so easy to dig into as a first-timer: vegetable porn and bondage and the like.
When our friend finally broke down and explained why she felt the way she did, we all felt like jerks: the first time she’d ever taken hallucinogenic drugs was when she was fourteen. She took a handful of mushrooms and geeked out entirely, and became convinced that her parents were going to show up and take her home or to jail. Somewhere in this mostly-negative experience, someone turned on pornography–the hardcore blowjob kind. And all she could think, in her very drugged out state, was that the poor woman on the screen was being choked to death. It was extremely unpleasant for her, as a young, naive, first-time-tripping woman.
And so, to this day, porn makes her uncomfortable. I’ve tried opening her up to it a few more times, but some associations, when made early and especially when made under the influence of mind-altering drugs, are hard to kick. And she seems quite ok without porn in her life. But had I never found out why she had such an aversion to it, I’d assume she’s just a prude with no sense of adventure. I’m glad I found out.
Similarly, there are lots of people who have just never gone near porn because they’ve “heard” it’s bad. Or have tried watching it but found themselves in some bizarre corner of the interwebz where they were not ready to be yet, and decided “never again.” These are the kinds of people, who had experiences they weren’t comfortable with and never went back for seconds, that could use a meaningful conversation about their experiences and about what else is out there…
And so, without further delay, I give you some details on my favorite porn. A new company or website every day this week, starting with:
Triangle Films: So sue me. I’m a sucker for good lesbian sex. I love women. But it’s taken me YEARS of searching to find any really good, accessible lesbian smut. Of course, the cast in these movies isn’t all lesbians: there are genderqueers, bisexuals, and all kinds of other shades of delicious, but Triangle Films doesn’t disappoint. Writer and director Kathryn Annelle writes plots that are engaging and interesting enough to keep you watching between sex scenes, and directs sex scenes that range from vanilla to pretty kinky, but they all have one thing in common: blazing hot sexual intensity. These women are paired up with other women to whom they are insanely attracted. There’s none of that “Ok, when do I get out of here and get my check?” vacant look in the eye, or that uncomfortable feeling that something isn’t right. These women are into each other on a whole other level. They are in need of each other, and they devour each other accordingly. The result is always hot, always (as Ms. White puts it) “Jill-off-able,” and worth a look for anyone who likes women.