Vid Tuesday: The Shy Queer Pornstar Web Comic Geek with a Deckle Fetish You Really Want to Know, Part I

I get told I’m contradictory pretty often. I am (or am a), in no particular order: geek, exhibitionist, shy, queer, cartoonist, genderqueer, nerd, country boy, goofy, cuddly, handsy (with permission), distracted, dandy, Halloweenophile.

Deckle fetishism is “[t]he overzealous, undiscriminating (and often very expensive) passion for uncut edges in books which were intended to have their edges cut.”* Most modern books have cut edges, the sort of smooth, mechanical edges to the paper that machine-made books have. In the period of handmade books, handmade paper had a “deckled edge” which is the rough, uneven edges most people equate with old books. Deckle fetishism is the obsessive need to own these sorts of books. I just wanted a book-related term that sounded dirty for my site/comic, and it has turned out to be quite a conversation piece.

* ABC for Book Collectors by John Carter & Nicholas Barker

Oh, not quite. I love books for a variety of reasons. Their content, history, provenance (previous owners) and even physical state. I collect books about books, almost obsessively. There are certain sensual aspects of books, but I don’t want to have any physical relation with them aside from gliding my hand across the page to see if I can feel the chain lines. No, I would much rather fuck someone up against a bookshelf.

Shine was incredible. I love what she’s doing with the Crash Pad Series, and as soon as I heard she was working on a site that focused on masculinity, I knew I had to get in on that. The shoot itself was very fun and relaxing. Shine and Tristan (a talented photographer/videographer Shine often works with) knew the vision and formula for the site, and how to make a model very comfortable. There was a brief interview about my fantasies, how I masturbate, and what I find sexy about myself. Then came what Shine called the “Pretty Pretty” segment, where they filmed me showing off my body in some gorgeous lighting, and then finally down to the sex. I played with myself kinda slowly, teasing it out for a good video length until I let Shine know that I was dragging it out, and could finish whenever. She thought she had enough footage, so I went for it. Of course, the climax after masturbating for ten minutes is pretty powerful, so I’m all wiped out and making these faces, and the video actually ends with Shine and I audibly laughing, which was just a perfect cut.

I haven’t shot since the crashing of AIM, but I do hear good things about Talent Testing Services. In SF, we also have St James Infirmary, who provides testing and health services to all sex workers. Also, queer porn is very pro-barrier, which makes the performers feel very safe. A lot of mainstream genres rely on testing because so much is done bareback, but a lot of queer porn uses barriers for even oral sex and fingering, and makes an aim of showing and sexualizing safe sex practices. When I shot with Dolores Park Studios, they provided gloves, condoms and dental dams for Drew and me, which is a nice transition…

Drew is phenomenal, as everyone knows. With the distance of SF & TO, we really only knew each other from reputation and tweeting at each other. We exchanged a few emails talking about the scene ahead of time, and then on the morning of the shoot, we swapped more ideas and were all nervous energy. We came up with a sort of concept we both liked, talked comfort levels, and then on set, she saw this tall mantle above the fireplace and was just instantly like “I want to get fucked on that!” so we made it happen. We both like playing with gender, and so we started out with her tossing me around and pegging me, and then we made a big scene of her putting lipstick on me and me leaving these lip marks all over her thighs and hips. Drew is supremely talented and charming, and just on the up and up as she’s finding herself more in her performances.

Ever since I was a teen, and discovered the thrill of the nude form, I found myself drawn to being the nude form that gave people that thrill.

I had a few stops along the way. For most of my college career I worked as a figure drawing model, which was fun in its own way, and meant getting to see my body transformed into pieces of art. I did a little bit of photography modeling as well. Then, a few years ago I got involved in making and posting my own content on XTube, various short videos and photo sets, and really enjoyed the experience. It was moving to SF and the easy access to companies like No Fauxxx and Pink & White that pushed me that extra mile.

I currently have four. On my ribs, wrapping around to my back, there’s a koi fish and lotus pad; on my lower back I have my little gender equality symbol; on my right thigh I have Hellboy (with books, of course!), and lastly on my shoulder is a skull drawn by Mike Mignola and decorated in Day of the Dead filigree. All were done at The Studio in Roseville, CA.

At 19 I had my koi fish done (the lotus pad was added later). Rib tattoos are excruciating, so I didn’t choose well for the location of my first tattoo. I did not handle the pain well. I’ve gotten much better since then.

I’m not sure at what age my first glimpses of porn came about, but I first actively sought out porn when I was about 11, being a technologically minded kid in the internet age.

Sadly, I don’t think I found queer porn until about 3 or 4 years ago. As a part of my exhibitionism, I was always looking for sites I could potentially model for. As a male-bodied, slightly alt, very nerdy, non-6-pack-having person, my options were pretty limited. In that period there was no shortage of Suicide Girls clones offering chances to female models, but many of the sites I could apply to sort of fell off the face of the earth without warning. I remember sending out applications to several sites, most of which I can’t even remember the names of, but distinctly remember discovering—and loving—No Fauxxx.

It was really sort of a surprise for me. After moving to San Francisco, I realized that No Fauxxx was based right here, so I should put in that model application. I met Courtney Trouble through a friend, did a very brief stint volunteering some web work for one of her sites (Reel Queer Porn), and then submitted the application, thinking I could do some photo shoots for No Fauxxx. What I didn’t know at the time was that she was strongly branching into DVDs, and so she came back and said “Yes of course I will cast you!” and then, suddenly I was in Bordello.

I’m honestly not sure what the future holds. I would love to keep making porn; it’s been amazing to me, and I feel like I’ve grown a discovered a lot through the experience. I have a tentative shoot sometime in the coming summer, and a scene in the can with Syd Blakovich that’s just waiting to be released, but for the most part I’ve been on hiatus for a while. I’ve been idly thinking of getting involved beyond performing, more behind-the-scenes stuff. Not behind the camera (I’m not a director nor a videographer), but getting in on the leg work that helps keep things going. I think it’d be fun to be a porn grunt.

Yes! I love my San Francisco community. Of course, the queer porn network is pretty far spread. I’ve done scenes with Sophia St. James from Portland and Drew Deveaux from Toronto. I think those are particular cities that stand a chance of replicating the sort of scene that’s been established here in SF. The trick is finding the right group of motivated folks and to really connect and work together to try and build the community you want. It’s all about the support you give.

On screen my goal is to just be myself and have fun. I want to show that someone who looks like me (take that as you will) can be queer, and can enjoy queer sex.

Off screen, I promote talents and events that I enjoy, and encourage people to buy porn, so we can keep making more of it. I don’t pirate any materials, and I no longer visit free sites unless they’re genuine user-uploaded material. If you’re somebody who has purchased and viewed the material, I think a producer/performer is more apt to listen when you say “I think you should expand and include more of x.” The broader our appeal, the broader our audience gets.