I’m not real big into New Year’s resolutions. Always feels like you’re setting yourself up to fail. But I got to thinking about something last night as I stumbled home from the Korean BBQ place where I pigged out until a little after midnight (because I am old and so what??). My chosen cause, which I fight so fiercely for because I am an Aquarius and we need causes like Scorpios need drama (no offense Scorpios), is sex. Sex positivity, openness, honesty, understanding, acceptance… all of that good stuff. I personally believe that everyone on this planet is entitled to a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life. I believe that sex is too often used as a tool for the powers that be to shame, manipulate, and outright control the rest of us. It’s one of our most honest and deeply personal expressions of humanity, but it so often is turned into a weapon to wield power over others. It’s fucked up. And I believe that the more we talk about it, enjoy it, watch it, and generally bring it out of the shadows and into the light to be celebrated and enjoyed, while refusing to let ourselves be victimized by those who would use it as a power game, the better off we will all be. And so that’s what I fight for. That’s why I write about sex and porn and feminism and queer issues and all that. I want to talk about it.
But sexual freedom isn’t the only thing I care about. It’s my platform, my vehicle, to agitate for change for the better. But for so, so many people in this world, sexual freedom and empowerment might seem like the very tip-top of an impossibly high pyramid of goals. It’d be great for everyone to feel like they can express themselves sexually, but first there are other, more basic needs: food, shelter, clothing, freedom from violence, right to education, freedom from political and religious oppression, access to clean air and water, basic rights like the right to vote and be considered human. And there are so, so many people who don’t have these things.
I don’t believe, personally, that sex should be a privileged topic for only those of us lucky enough to be born near the top of the pyramid, who already have most of our rights guaranteed. I believe that sexual freedom and equality should be part and parcel of living and being treated like a human being. But I do understand that for people living in war zones, who don’t have the right to be educated, who don’t have enough food to eat… sex can seem like the last possible area to be concerned with.
So my fight in 2013 won’t be just to try to open up dialogues about sex, it will be to do what I can to bring people for whom sex is far at the top of the pyramid closer to that tip. I will donate every month to a charity or program that helps people find a place where their right to a happy and healthy sex life can be a priority. I have about six in mind right now, but I still need six more places to donate to: please let me know what organizations you recommend!