DEEP THROAT — “For all its antiquity, brevity, and levity, it packs a seriously sexy punch.”

DEEP THROAT

Arrow Productions

Directed (and Written, and Edited) by Jerry Gerard

Run Time: 60 minutes

STARRING
Linda Lovelace, Harry Reems, Dolly Sharp, Bill Harrison, William Love, Carol Connors, Bob Phillips

This 1972 classic hardly needs an introduction — if you don’t know much about the movie, you damn well know what it’s about. If you don’t know what it’s about… well, I have no idea why you’re reading WHACK! Magazine, because you obviously don’t watch porn. So, go find something else to do.

But if you are a porn fan, and you have never seen Deep Throat, I implore you to stop reading this right now and go find yourself a copy. Not only is there an off-Broadway stage show about the movie and its cultural impact (which was as deep as the eponymous throats), but there’s a Hollywood biopic in the works starring Lindsay Lohan as Linda Lovelace (although it’s been put on hold till her… um… legal problems… have been resolved). Deep Throat has got some serious chops, and any self-respecting porn connoisseur must add it to his collection — as cultured degenerates, we expect you to have a basic knowledge of the movie! There will be a quiz!

Deep Throat was made in 1972 and stands today as one of the building blocks of pornography as we know it; yet it is nothing, absolutely not in any way whatsoever, like modern pornography. And as such, it’s fascinating to watch.

First of all, it’s funny. And not in the same way that porn parodies today are funny, i.e. the script lets the actors deliver some humorous lines sandwiched between frantic fuckfests in which the sex is deadly serious. On the one hand, I can’t blame modern porn actors for taking the sex part seriously — after all, it’s what they’re making their dubious reputations on. And frankly, I find it hard to imagine an alternative, because porn is the consumable product of sex — it’s got to be serious or nobody will make a dime, especially in today’s shit-stormy economic climate. But Deep Throat treats sex and humor entirely differently; the story revolves around Linda Lovelace’s search for sexual satisfaction, which she can only get from deep throating cock because her clitoris is located deep within her throat. The premise is so inherently ridiculous that writer, director, and producer Jerry Gerard (aka, Gerard Damiano) wisely matched the rest of the movie to it.

In Deep Throat, sex is treated as a light-hearted and enjoyable, yet kind of silly experience. The characters are all having sex all the time, and they’re enjoying the hell out of it without considering it the be-all and end-all of the human condition. Hell, half the guys aren’t even that hard in their scenes — whereas a modern porn star would immediately step off camera if his dick wasn’t rigid enough to bore through solid steel, these guys are comfortable getting their flaccid fuck-sticks sucked without worrying about whether it looks manly. They’re into it because it feels good — and holy shit, Linda Lovelace’s oral skills must have felt good!

That’s another thing that stood out to me in Deep Throat. Even though the style of fellatio that now goes hand-in-hand with hardcore porn more or less originated with this movie, what we’re used to seeing in modern porn is a whole other animal. A much more slobbery, gagging, jackhammering kind of animal. Linda Lovelace goes down on a cock with a kind of lingering love — she spends time licking, stroking, and really enjoying her time with a hunk of man meat, which is obviously her favorite dish. When she finally does take it deep into her infamous throat, she takes her time, uses her lips and her tongue, and then spends a while building up momentum and sensation. She loves it. And so does the man receiving it. Linda doesn’t gag or choke or slather strings of spit all over herself, but she obviously delivers a deep blowjob with as much skill as anybody ever has or ever will. It’s sensual.

And yet, somehow, between 1972 and 2010, deep throating has morphed into something altogether different, and disturbing by comparison. Today, deep throating is no longer sensual: it’s completely, and only, explicitly sexual. Eroticism has flown the way of the dodo in favor of filthiness. Blowjobs now are kind of disgusting to watch, as spit flies and mucus strings, actresses gag and choke and gurgle and moan, and throats are treated not so much as the soft, silken passages they are, but rather as some kind of enemy force to be pounded into submission by their sworn enemies: giant porn star cocks. The difference between the then and the now of deep throating is about as wide and gaping as Linda Lovelace’s gag reflex by.

Similarly, the actual fucking is vastly different from what modern porn fans are used to seeing. It’s almost as if it’s being filmed in slow motion; these guys are taking their time, letting the pussy juices flow. They’re not pounding away like there’s no goddamn tomorrow, as most modern porn stars do, treating the pussy like a particularly tough pieces of steak that must be tenderized and on the customer’s table in five minutes, or else we’re all going to hell! Seriously, with the hysterically sped-up humping in most modern porn, you’d think somebody’s life was on the line if it all didn’t move at 150 mph on the fuckometer.

And yet, for all the insane speed and intensity, most modern porn scenes last almost as long as the entire movie of Deep Throat. Clocking in at a mere 60 minutes, the movie is filled not with breakneck boning and nauseating knob-sucking, but with cute, amusing, and sexy montages of sex and blowjobs. And there’s more pussy eating in this short-but-sweet gem than in my straight porn collection put together (notice I said straight porn; my lesbian porn selection is vast).

For all its antiquity, brevity, and levity, Deep Throat packs a seriously sexy punch. Hell, for all the commotion it caused in the court system in the seventies, I guess it better. But it offers some real insight into modern porn, which is even more interesting than watching Linda Lovelace take a dick deep into her esophagus for the first time ever on film. …Well, ok, maybe not — that’s pretty goddamn fascinating. But you get my point.

Miss Lagsalot

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