SOS: SEX ON THE STREETS #1 — “I’m sure Viagra had its blue little fingers on these guys’ prostates all day!”

SOS: SEX ON THE STREETS #1
Axel Braun Productions

Directed by Brother Love

SEXHIBITIONISTS
Tara Lynn Foxxx, Brooklyn Lee, Jessi Palmer, Nicole Aniston

There are a lot of things I could ay about Sex on the Streets #1. A lot of words of flabbergasted, flummoxed filibustering about the dangers of having unprotected sex on skuzzy couches on rooftops and in needle-strewn alleyways and mashed up against the walls of elevators that may not have been washed in years in downtown LA. Not to mention the gasps of horror I could squeak out about how insanely dangerous it is to not just drive while getting blown, but to drive on a crowded highway while actually getting fucked by a woman on your lap. Or all the polemicizing I could do about the importance of consent not only for porn performers and crew, but also for anyone who happens upon the action: you could send someone into cardiac arrest with some porn-grade breasts and boners flashed unexpectedly on a highway overpass, and that wouldn’t be good. And then of course there are the legal ramifications of getting your dick sucked in a shopping cart in a public parking lot in broad daylight—you could absolutely get arrested for every single salacious scene in this movie. And let’s not forget the implications about what, exactly, it’s ok to do to a sleeping homeless person…

But none of that is what made me scratch my head about this movie. To be perfectly honest, although I’m not much of an exhibitionist or voyeur myself (no, really, I swear… no, really), the idea of having sex somewhere that people could potentially see me is still pretty hot. The exhilaration of it—the adrenaline mixed with all the sex chemicals—must be intoxicating (as was, I’m pretty sure, the alcohol these lads and lasses were swilling all day while shooting). And it’s really, er, stimulating to watch Tara Lynn Foxxx get banged from behind by the side of the highway, Brooklyn Lee take it like a champ on a public beach, Jessi Palmer cling to a chain-link fence on an overpass while getting nailed from behind, and Nicole Aniston get impaled in a filthy public restroom. It really is. Hats off to these women for having no fear of reprisal when trying to get a job later in life!

But what really made me stop and go, huh? was how much focus was put on the aforementioned loose and libidinal ladies. Of course they’re all gorgeous, and sure, they’re willingness to do illegal, indecent, and ill-advised things in appallingly open spaces is stunning, as the pre-sex interviews and constant running commentary they spout into the camera shows us (one of them lost her virginity when she was ten—because she was drunk). But my real question is: what about the guys? They don’t even get their names on the box cover, and they’re only called by their first names now and again throughout their marathon days of near-continuous humping while the women bask in the glow of adulation for their loose ways, as if their antics were film gold while the guys were just along for the ride.

I guess, in the grand scheme of things, there’s probably a larger percentage of men who would be willing to sign up for banging a gorgeous woman in public, thus risking jail time, than there are women who would agree to the same thing. But it’s not just a matter of saying, “What the fuck, sure,” is it? It’s a matter of being able to get it up and keep it up to completion while a wino in an underpass watches you. Or as unnamed watchers look on in the park. Or as truckers blow their horns as they scream below the underpass you’re getting blown on. Over, and over, and over again. These shoots are all day-long affairs, and these guys have hard-ons for at least 2/3 of the action (the other third is watching the ladies prance around naked… and pee… if you’re not into pee, be careful with this one). I’m sure Viagra had its blue little fingers on these guys’ prostates all day, but seriously, I think that this movie isn’t a testament to female sluttiness—it’s an awed ode to men who will do anything… anything… it takes to get the job done. Well done, sirs! Well done!

—Miss Lagsalot

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