As you may be aware, I watch a lot of porn. I see a lot of people having a lot of orgasms, and even though I’ll admit that never really gets old, I’ve gotten to a point where I can honestly say I have certain amount of emotional detachment from it. Orgasms are fantastic, but I see so many of them that rather than getting all gooey in the pants every time I see one, I can think a little more critically about them. I’m sure many people in the porn industry can understand this perspective.
And I’ve been thinking critically about those orgasms. Specifically the men’s. The ubiquitous cumshot, pop-shot, etc. It’s such a standby of almost all porn that it hardly even makes a blip on my radar anymore. It does little more for me these days than signal the end of the scene, with maybe a few minutes afterward spent focusing on the woman as she greedily slurps up whatever the man, who almost always disappears after leaving his contribution, has deposited on or near her. He’s finished; he’s gone. Probably off to shower or get a sandwich, now that he’s done and so is the scene.
But, let’s think for a moment. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m keeping in mind that porn is meant as a fantasy and is most often intended for a male audience, and I realize that for many men, fantasy is finishing, walking away, and getting a sandwich. I can’t blame them. I also crave sandwiches after sex. Who knows why. Particularly ham. But the point is that, while it’s not a stretch to figure out why the cumshot is almost always the end of scene, it’s kind of boring. Even though it’s kind of the climax of the scene, and ostensibly signals the climax of the viewer as well, it’s just a little too easy sometimes. Kind of misleading, even. Of course, in fantasy land, the woman who’s been pleasured before the cumshot has reached at least five orgasms herself by the time she’s showered with her partner’s appreciation. And that might even be true on a lot of porn sets; those guys know what they’re doing. They’re professionals.
But for most of us, who are dealing with non-professional partners and who might have more trouble getting to orgasm, or who are maybe just not as much into the mood sometimes, the cumshot-and-done construction can be a frustrating reminder of how final a man’s orgasm often is for the sex being had. I’m not always finished when he is, goddammit, and I don’t appreciate it that almost very straight porn scene ever has signaled to its male viewers that when they’re done, I’m necessarily done, too, and it’s tuna melt time! It’s not tuna melt time until you’ve sufficiently melted my tuna!
…ok, that analogy was all wrong. It does NOT smell or taste like tuna down there, people, I swear.
But still, the point remains. It’s kind of unfair that nature constructed our bodies so differently, that women can take forever to come sometimes and then be able to come again and again in quick succession, while men are more once-and-done, at least for a while, creatures. But it’s also unfair that we women are so often expected, via bodily differences and societally/pornographically-reinforced ideas, to be done the moment the jizz has stopped flowing. Sometimes we’re not done, and though many of us don’t hesitate to point that out and make the mister get back down there and finish us off, it’s a pretty standard concept that most the time, we’re already finished for he is. It’s a shame for both parties, really. The idea that it’s snack time immediately after the guy has shot his wad leads to a lot more once-off sex sessions than all-night sensual feasts of flesh, and who wouldn’t rather have those more often?
Not that we always need to keep going when the man is done, but sometimes it’d be nice to see my not-there-yet-ness represented in a movie. I’d like to see a woman demand more gratification, or–I might be dreaming here–a man give it without being asked! I’m calling for more post-cumshot porn! Show me more guys going down on ladies after they’ve left their love batter elsewhere! Show me women getting off after their men are done! Show me men getting turned on again after pleasing and re-pleasing women, and going back in for round two! Show me more, in general! More thoughtful post-cumshot choreography, more pleasure, more willingness to think outside, or after, the pop-shot! Let’s go again, and again, and again…