I dunno how many of you out there listen to Kanye West, but given his popularity it’s probably quite a few of you. But just in case, his most recent album featured a song called “Hell of a Life” that starts with the line, “I think I fell in love with a porn star.” The song is all about the exhilaration of porn fame, the weird contradictions within the industry (how anal, gangbangs, and interracial sex are all lumped together as things that drive down a porn star’s performance price), and the just-as-weird contradictions without it (the glamour of porn and the openness of porn star lives and sexuality versus the shaming society heaps on them). And damned if it isn’t a great song. And damned-er if it isn’t onto something. Sometimes I hate giving Kanye credit cause he’s kind of a d-bag, but he writes some seriously good lyrics.
And I finally kind of know what he’s talking about. I mean, I knew some of what he was talking about before, since I’m kind of deeply immersed in the porn world. But as much as I think porn performers are great and have the same issues with society’s double standard of idolizing and glamorizing porn stars while denigrating the work they do… I’d never quite gotten close to falling in love with a porn star. Somehow, even when partying with hot stars and hanging out in hotel rooms with the top performers, some of whom came onto me and some of whom did not, I’d never walked away from one of them breathless. Maybe it’s because I see them in a mostly-professional way. Maybe it’s because I like a bit of mystery in my sexual pursuits and I already know a lot of what there is to know about most porn stars’ bedroom habits when I encounter them. Or maybe I just hadn’t met anyone who really got me going.
But this weekend I did. I’d been interested in Keni Styles beforehand for several reasons: #1: HOT BRITISH ACCENT. I know it’s a silly bias. And I know a lot of guys who will roll their eyes about this when they hear women say it. But those same guys will go ga-ga over a woman with an accent, too. There’s just something undeniably sexy about the exoticism of someone who’s from a different culture than your own. Add to that #2, which is that Keni has a fascinating background. He’s of mostly Chinese descent and has lived all over the world. He’s probably the most multicultural male porn performer on the scene today. #3: Though I hate to pigeonhole anybody based on race, the fact that Keni is of Asian descent is a big deal for the porn biz. Though it’s not as often talked bout as with other groups, anti-Asian sentiment runs high in the adult industry, where women are fetishized and men are basically nonexistent because there’s a prevalent stigma that Asian guys are feminine and have small dicks. Well, Keni has come (hehehe) to blast all those stereotypes to smithereens. The man is a powerhouse in his performances, masculine as all get-out, and has a dong that could make any woman tear up from either appreciation or pain. Not only is he accented, worldly, and boundary-breaking, all of which would make me interested… but, #3: he’s also HOT. Like. HOT. Just Google him. You’ll see what I mean.
So when I realized I was about to meet him in Miami I got excited. He had all the makings of an interesting person for an interview, and I was curious to see what he’d be like in person. I got my answer Thursday night before the Exxxotica convention started: he’s awesome. He came up to say hi, shook my hand, and blew me away immediately with that accent of his. And then his friendliness, openness, and, oh lord, his smile. I was hooked.
We didn’t spend much time together over the course of the weekend, besides some very boozey dancing and shenanigans at Fontainbleu on Friday night, but by the time he walked out of the convention center on Sunday, I was sighing after him like a lost puppy. I haven’t had a crush this serious on a porn star. Ever.
I doubt we’ll get married in a bathroom and divorced by morning, as Kanye’s song describes, but hey, a girl can hope, right? Just some making out would be fine.