THE WE-VIBE II — “The We-Vibe II is like a gift from heaven, if God were a sex toy manufacturer.”

At the Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas this January, I had the best light-bulb moment of my life. I’d been scanning through the sex toys on display and suddenly realized: “Hey! Most of these toys are for women! I’m a woman! And I write for a sex magazine! I could get free sex toys and write reviews!” It was definitely a good idea, and it definitely happened at exactly the right time and place, because ten minutes later I found myself speaking to Melody Murison, co-developer of the We-Vibe. This ingenious little device took years of development, research, trial, error, and investment from Melody and her husband Bruce, but it has earned back its weight in gold. The first-ever two-way vibrator made to be worn during masturbation, foreplay, or intercourse, the We-Vibe (and now the We-Vibe II, which has nine different vibration settings and a handy touch-button switch) caused a huge sensation when it hit the market. It’s been drooled over by women’s media from Cosmo to Women’s Health to Glamour to Oprah and even to the New York Post. It’s now the best-selling sex toy in Canada and Australia, and it’s even manufactured using carbon-neutral processes, using medical-grade silicone, and iss lead-free, phthalate-free, and rechargeable. It’s the little vibrator that could, and I’m here to tell you, people—it does.

I was lucky enough to get a sample of the We-Vibe II from Mrs. Murison, along with a pamphlet titled “Your Invitation to Pleasure” a few months ago, and I’ve been learning how to use it, and using it, ever since. The We-Vibe is a truly incredible device: it’s sleek, quiet, inconspicuous, and extremely well-designed. With two very powerful but very quiet vibrators on either end of a U-shaped silicone body, when used properly the We-Vibe provides stimulation to one or two sex partners during masturbation or intercourse. The smaller end of the U is inserted into the vagina, where the vibrator hits the G-spot. The other end is positioned, along with its vibrator, right over the clitoris. These vibrators work in tandem to get a gooey, gushy, extremely pleasurable inner-and-outer orgasm going. It’s glorious!

But wait! There’s more! Because the We-Vibe is so small and unintrusive, the woman can have sex with her partner while she’s using it! Both partners can feel any or all of the nine different vibration settings (we’re talking low, hi, low-hi patterns, ramping up from low to hi, pulsing… you name it!) while having full-on, normal—and very satisfying—intercourse.

Now, guys, you might think this is a bit much to deal with during sex. After all, if you’re a regular reader of WHACK! Magazine, you probably watch a lot of porn. And in porn, women have orgasms all the time, all over the place, at pretty much the drop of a hat. So why all the fuss about a vibrator during sex? Well, let me tell you, guys: most of the orgasms women have in porn are faked. The vast majority of women actually cannot have full orgasms just from simple p-in-v sex, and for some the orgasm is frustratingly elusive even when there’s other stimulation happening. It’s really tough being a woman who has trouble orgasming when you’re in a sexual relationship. You don’t want to make your honey feel bad—it’s just difficult to get the right stimulation to the right spots at the right time, and it can drive a big wedge between two formerly in-love people whose sex life has gotten disappointing or boring. It’s embarrassing to talk about, the sex gets frustrating, and tension builds. (Think I’m making this up? There’s lots of documentation about this: look up “couples therapy” and see what the woman’s main complaint usually is.) The We-Vibe II is like a gift from heaven, if God were a sex toy manufacturer. As Glamour put it succinctly, the We-Vibe is “A surefire way to have an orgasm with your man.” And that makes everybody happy.

Seriously. You may not be surprised to hear that I’m one of those women for whom getting the whole way to the top of the roller-coaster can be difficult. It gets frustrating and disappointing, and to tell the truth there have been times when I didn’t even feel like trying because I was so disheartened. But the We-Vibe entered my relationship (and me), and it changed that in one fell swoop. The first time we used it, things were a bit awkward. I’m a very small person, and the We-Vibe seemed to have been designed for women who are larger than me—both vibrators seemed like they were a little way past where they should have been. But after some wiggling and adjusting, I found just the right spot for both. Unfortunately, once sex began, things shifted around, and there were several awkward minutes of, “Hey, wait, hang on… Ok, go! Oh, wait, no… Ok, wait…” and so on. But eventually we found a position that worked, and using one hand to keep everything in place, I discovered within ten minutes, that—oh my god!—I can indeed have an orgasm during normal sex, and not just a little baby-hill one. I’m talking first-hill-of-the-roller-coaster, ninety-degree-angle, weightless-sensation, screaming, yelling, speeding down the hill and then through the loop-de-loop and twenty other hills following it… That kind of orgasm. And so did my man. And we’ve been doing that ever since.

I am having more fun in the bedroom than I have in a long time, and doing exactly the things I’ve always done, just with a little purple helper doing some of the heavy lifting. So, gals, whether you’ve got a partner or not, and whatever sex that partner may be—get one of these. And guys, if you’ve got a partner and she gets that look on her face sometimes after you’ve finished—that look that says, “Well that was fun and all, but…”—get one of these. And get one even if she doesn’t get that look on her face, cause why not make things more exciting for both of you anyway? And the best part is, rather than you watching her do it or doing it to her, you can do this together, which makes it intimate and extra-exciting. So, yeah. Everybody: get one of these. I mean, like, now.