Tidbits to Tantalize You

 I may not appreciate all the sentiments in The Observer article, but I gotta admit,
this graphic is quite entertaining.

Welcome to spring, my lovelies! It is officially post-spring equinox now, and we are officially on our way toward warmer days and higher libidos! I don’t know about you guys, but I find it a whole lot more difficult to get randy when my toes are freezing and I’m under five blankets. How are you supposed to throw your partner around and enjoy yourself when it’s fifty degrees in your apartment?

Oh, wait, that’s just me because my landlord’s a psycho and keeps the heat too low? Ah. Well. At any rate, I’m looking forward to warmer weather. This winter in NYC was brutal, outside and inside.

Anyway, as it’s getting warmer I’m having a harder time sitting still to write. I’m assuming you are, too. Given it’s a beautiful spring weekend, let’s not be too serious about our fodder today, shall we? Let’s link:

1) Fascinating study results on the LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation) phenomenon: turns out women don’t experiment with other women nearly as much in college as we all thought they did. Surprisingly (or not) enough, less-educated, less-privileged women have substantially more same-sex sex and relationships. Well I’ll be damned! You mean less-educated working women have rich and interesting personal lives less informed by what society expects of them and less carefully considered in light of what feminist literary theory says? No way!
Actually, this news makes me feel much better about my notably less-than-lesbian college experience. I’ve known for most of my adult life that I liked women, but I’ve never been good at expressing that to other women. Especially as a petite, femme-by-genetics woman who also liked men, I just never knew how to attract women who wanted to “experiment” as much as I wanted to. When I found one who wanted to make out in a bar, it always turned out she was experimenting for the benefit of the watching men nearby. I wanted to take her home. It never worked out further than some awkward fumbling, and I felt very sad about this because I believed that women were supposed to do this in college and I must have just been that unattractive to the experimental ones. That or I was at a Catholic university… hm… Might’ve been the Catholicism, now that I think about it.


2) The Observer says that young people in New York are no longer interested in sex because they’re too busy worrying about their online personas getting mixed up with someone else’s, preserving their mystique, and doing cocaine. Lucky for the libido of the city, however, we’re assured that the younger generation, the 19- and 20-year-olds, are horny as ever and ready to take their places.
I’ve never been much of a hard partier or bar-goer myself, so I guess I can’t comment much on the phenomenon, but I think some of the ideas mentioned in the article as side notes should be taken way more into consideration than your Facebook wall the day after a one night stand: for instance, Freeman mentions that “the cab right back to Bushwick” after a Manhattan bar is awkward and better avoided. But Freeman seems not to take this into real consideration: he’s assuming that, A) the young professionals have enough cash to get a cab way the hell out to Bushwick, and B) that it’s ridiculous to think young people would let a commute get between themselves and boning. But let’s be real. A) Most young people between 21 and 30 in NYC are people like me, who have taken the very worst of the brunt of the recession. We’re not exactly swimming in cash here. Cabs are expensive. An awkward cab right is one thing: a fluorescent-lit, crowded, uncomfortable, and too-long-because-the-MTA-never-fixes-anything subway ride? Dealbreaker. If one of you lives in Astoria and the other in Bushwick and you’ve got work tomorrow and you need to rely on getting the N train home after midnight? Fucking forget it. Sex is great, but it’s not worth that. Make a date for later or drop it. B) Speaking of getting reamed by the recession more than the opposite sex: anyone who wants to have a real career in NYC right now who’s at the “assistant” or “associate” level at his or her company isn’t make shit for a salary and is probably working another job when he/she gets home at night. We all have blogs, some of which are professional in nature. Lots of us wait tables or tend bar to make extra cash to cover the rest of the bills in this overpriced metropolis, or we take night classes in the hopes that someday we CAN make enough money at one job. By the time our daily routine of work, work, and more work is over, that subway ride home with a new acquaintance is looking more dismal than ever.
Look, I’m not saying they’re RIGHT. I know plenty of people who have fun random hook-ups all over the place. But I admit, I often marvel that they can muster the energy. Being young and in New York right now is exhausting. It’s always been exhausting, but I’d argue that most of us are balancing a whole lot more work than social life right now to stay afloat, and sometimes, even when you’re young, it’s too much to want to get it on with that cute piece of ass at the end of the bar.
Also, c’mon Observer. Can we please be done making new and improved versions of “Sex and the City” headlines and titles for things? God, that show’s been off the air for years now, and it’s obviously ruined living in New York for everyone young and sexy by making people expect way too much out of our libidos already! Thanks.

3) Can I just show some more disgust for Apple real quick? Seriously, I’ve been annoyed at this company for subtly brainwashing its faithful into a weird state of Mac-crazed, glazed-eyed submission for years now. And I was pretty annoyed that in some circles the release of the new iPad outweighed the disaster in Japan as a newsworthy topic last weekend. And I’ve always found Apple’s creepy sense of over-morality unsettling: come on, you make some of the most user-friendly tech gadgets in the world and you won’t let people put porn apps on them? WTF?
But now I’m really pissed. While the App store continues to deny anything “overtly sexual” admittance to the Pearly, Sleek, and Impossibly Cool Gates, it’s ok with the Exodus International app. Exodus International is a virulently anti-homosexual organization that favors exorcism, the God/Satan dichotomy, and demon-blaming when it comes to homosexuality. Ummm… Apple? You got anything to say about this? You might, um… Want to do that. Stat.

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