Hey, kiddos. Remember that post I made a while ago saying how I’d be in L.A. and Vegas and be super busy doing lots of work for this book I’m writing?
Well, I am in L.A. I’ve been here for six days. And I started out busy doing lots of work.
But then I got a stomach flu or something on Friday, the day of the XBIZ awards, and spent the next two days in bed at my AirBnB. I’ve been surviving on about half a bowl of oatmeal and four packs of Alka-seltzer a day since then. I did not make it to the XBIZ Awards, where so many awesome people were winning so many awesome awards! Gah!
I did get a few panels in at the XBIZ show–probably the best of which was Kelly Holland of Penthouse, jessica drake from Wicked, Jacky St. James from New Sensations, and Kelly Shibari talking about the ever-fuzzier line between mainstream entertainment and pornography. Four super-smart ladies talking about super-interesting stuff! I will definitely be mulling over some of the points made there, including the idea that mainstream film seems to want to ignore the idea that anyone can have “happy” sex instead of fucked-up, violent sex. Porn is like the only place where it seems like people are allowed to do it and enjoy it. Which got me to thinking. Pretty much the entire entertainment industry profits off of deepening the virgin/whore dichotomy when it comes to women; it’s easier to sell the idea of women as sex objects or saints than as whole human beings. Or, at least, that’s what the entertainment Powers That Be seem to think. Showing real human women who really enjoy sex from a not-pathological point of view, who enjoy pleasure and are good people would dismantle that idea pretty directly. It’s dangerous. So, hey–yay, porn for showing that happen all the time! (Of course, the culture encourages us to assume that women who make porn are already fucked up and couldn’t possibly be good people, but that’s horse shit, so let’s just not get into it right now. Also, I’m sick. My brain doesn’t work well enough to take all that apart.)
The panel was called “It’s Not HBO–It’s Porn,” in reference to the below fantastic video that should make you think.
There were also some very illuminating discussions about the legislation facing the adult industry in the next year, a really great talk about what it’s like to be a porn star today featuring an all-star panel (with Dani Daniels, who won Female Performer of the Year the next night, weehoo!), and a weird “future of the industry” panel that had literally NINE MIDDLE-AGED WHITE DUDES talking about how successful all their companies were and what technology they were using. It was kind of bizarre. Like, really… how hard is this. The future of the industry may have lots of middle-aged white men in it, but it will have at least a few women and POC, too. For fuck’s sake.
Anyway, when I got back to my AirBnB on Thursday I felt pretty awful, and then I spent all of Friday in a state off sickness that isn’t really appropriate for discussion on the internet. It was awful.
The next day, feeling a tiny bit better, I was able to attend the Sexual Health Expo for a few hours before I relapsed and had to get back in bed. I got to see Dr. TaMara Grififn talk about Naming Your Desire, Amy Jo Goddard speak on making space for desire, and the amazing Mollena Williams speak about power exchange in relationships. I also got a super rad toy called a “Juicer” from Crystal Delights, which I am suuuuper excited about putting to the test!
…once I’m feeling slightly less like food is secretly trying to kill me, that is. Anyway, let’s just say the trip has not been as productive as I’d hoped so far. I did, however, find the throne I’ve been searching for!
Off to Vegas tonight for the the Adult Novelty Expo, the Adult Entertainment Expo, the AVN Awards, and as many freaking interviews as I can possibly stuff into my week there. Also, hopefully, some ramen with Kelly Shibari and some catch-up face time with some other friends! That is… if I can convince my body to cooperate.
More later, my lovelies!