Lady Gaga is a Badass Monster

This is what a badass looks like.

Lady Gaga, bless your monster-y heart. My thoughts about you right now are too big for a blog post. But I’ll just say this: YOU ARE THE DAMN COOLEST.

Lately, you’ve been getting a lot of shit from the paparazzi for gaining some weight (which, frankly, I’m glad you did because someone with your stress level and schedule SHOULD EAT MORE), and then some old local government dude on Staten Island called you a slut for no reason whatsoever. All you were doing was going about your (awesome) business (of creating art, entertaining people, providing a safe haven for millions of outcast young people on your social networking site, interacting with your fans, pushing boundaries and limits, touring the world, starting up charitable organizations, acting, writing, singing, dancing…) and some spineless dirtbags decided to start picking on you. For no reason. Sure, you maybe gained a little weight, but you look STUNNING in all the photos I’ve seen in which you were supposed to be “fat.” There’s no justification for the media focusing on your belly instead of, oh, I don’t know, REAL or important issues. And there’s absolutely no justification for the old Staten Island dude to point to you as not only a bad role model for kids in the war against drugs (which, may I point out, has been under attack for years as a giant waste of time, energy, and money), but as a slut, which really seemed to be his main problem with you. Somehow, in this man’s world, you are everything that’s wrong with the world… and somehow he ends up getting to tell everybody about why, even though his point of view is obviously whackadoodle and you are obviously a rock star. If he wanted to point to a celebrity’s drug use as influencing millions of children (which is what he was trying to do) he could have pointed to, oh I dunno, say Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey, Jr., AMY WINEHOUSE as examples of substance abusers that get lots of press. But you? Since when are you a champion of drug abuse? He obviously just doesn’t like you. And the tabloids obviously just needed somebody to pick on.

And you were like, “FUCK THAT. You all are a bunch of assholes. Look at me, being brave and unashamed of my body and my self. Here’s me in all my flawed and gorgeous glory. I accept it, and I accept my fans, and I accept all of our weird faults and beauty, and we are going to fuck up anyone’s day if they have a problem with it.” She created “Body Revolution” on her site,, and is inviting all her fans to share photos and stories about their own personal body insecurities. I just joined the site to check it out, and you guys, this is beautiful. I’m reading posts so compassionate and loving and full of vulnerability. This is a community of real love, a safe place. Anyone who cold fling epithets at the woman who started this should be ashamed of themselves–this is courage and compassion on a level far beyond the reach “fat” or “slut” shaming.

Hell yeah. That is how you do good in the world. All y’all haters can cry into your milk. The rest of us will be over here, taking nearly nude pics with Lady Gaga, being proud of our fat and our sluttiness and living life.

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