BEAUTIFUL PORN — by Camille Crimson

[Editorial Note: We’re not entirely sure how we got so lucky, but the sex goddess and beautiful red-headed blowjob expert Camille Crimson has agreed to write a guest column on WHACK! Magazine for all you rabid, randy fans! Here is installment number one: “Beautiful Porn.” It’s almost as beautiful as Camille herself… Almost.]

When you think about porn, chances are that “beautiful” doesn’t come to mind. Maybe beautiful women, but the porn itself isn’t likely to be considered as such. In terms of mainstream porn, the industry has come to a place where most releases are very similar. Sure, some may have a story line, some may have a specific fetish and some may even be a parody, but pretty much else stays the same.

From an aesthetic standpoint, the camera work is fairly static, or obnoxiously shaky if it’s made to seem like it’s an amateur production. The sets, the outfits, the make-up, the body types… It’s mostly very homogenous. My bigger complaint comes from the sex, though. It’s so rare that you see a real connection. Frequently the performers lack any sort of spark and it translates into this real vacancy or even deadness in their eyes. I know that most people aren’t paying too much attention to the eyes in porn, but it
contributes to the overwhelming feeling that porn is fake.

Granted, there are some very expressive performers out there in the mainstream, the most passionate porn is mostly relegated to the sidelines. Of course, that’s fairly natural. Most mainstream porn consists of two people who don’t know each other too well doing
something very intimate for money. Nothing wrong with that, but it turns everything into a performance, largely void of the human aspect that most of us enjoy about sex.

You can moan and grunt all you want, but if there isn’t any chemistry, it’s just going through the motions. Striptease, rough blowjob, a tiny bit of cunnilingus, missionary, doggie-style, reverse cowgirl, and facial. The sex itself can be repetitive, but passion will always
bring it to life. Without passion, it seems like it’s on autopilot, and that’s not very sexy. It’s the type of porn you watch alone when
you just want to get off quickly, not what you’d watch with a partner if you really wanted to elevate the mood or learn new things.

My personal experience is in blowjobs, so I’ll stick to that. My biggest problem with mainstream porn is that almost all of the
blowjobs are violent. I’m not talking about the blowjobs in fetish movies or niche gagging movies, I’m talking about pretty much all
movies. This sends the message that violent blowjobs are the norm, that they’re the way to be sexy. There’s an entire generation of
young adults sneaking peeks at porn and learning to poke someone square in the tonsils repeatedly until you come. That’s certainly one way to do it, but it takes two to tango.

(I’ll preface this part by saying that I’m mostly talking about male/female couples because two men both have cocks, mouths and gag
reflexes, so they’re liable to be a little more understanding about limits.)

Because of what I do, I’m privy to a lot of private and public discussions about blowjobs and it seems like an overwhelming number of men are disappointed that their partners don’t like giving blowjobs. There are also a lot of women who are sick of men asking for blowjobs. This is where all of my issues with porn come in.

If you see violent blowjobs, you’re going to be expecting them. You’re going to be pushing too hard, forcing past the gag reflex, and
generally making your partner feel used, and not in a sexy way. If your partner is taking the lead and giving a blowjob slightly timidly
or not focusing on the right spots, you may be getting antsy and hoping for something more rough, which is a big motivation killer.

So, what do I propose to do about these mismatched expectations? If you want a really great blowjob, there are a couple of things that need to happen. First, unless your partner is into rough blowjobs, don’t force it. Check out some sensual blowjob porn (ahem… perhaps The Art of Blowjob) and imagine how good that would feel. It’s not the same as feeling someone gag on you, but a nice, slippery grip around your shaft while she sucks on the head would create comparable sensations and would feel a lot better for her.

Second, talk about it. Tell her that you want your sex life to be incredible and ask her what she wants. Listen and be willing to give
her these things, at least within a reasonable comfort zone. Then, when it’s your turn, tell her that you really love blowjobs and
explain to her some of the sensations you like and the places you like to be focused on. Maybe watch some of the porn together so you can both pick up some inspiration and a few extra tips. Then be patient, keep the lines of communication open and keep exploring and trying new things.

When I say the passion and connection is missing in porn, that’s what I mean. Sex shouldn’t be selfish or consisting of actions that you assume will please your partner. It should be based on a greater understanding of what you both want out of sex and the passion that comes from giving AND getting what you want. If done right for both of you, a blowjob can be a sexy, sensual and rewarding experience for both of you.

Now, if only more porn could operate under the same guidelines, it’d be really beautiful. Still, look out for the companies that are
focusing on connection, passion and realistic depictions of sex and sexuality. That’s the kind of porn you can watch to help you and your partner become better lovers.

—Camille Crimson

Check Camille out at TheArtofBlowjob.com, her blog, Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Tumblr, and in an upcoming interview right here on WHACK! Magazine, next Tuesday!