Do Porn Performers Get Gas? No, I’m Serious.

Today is going to be one of those “running around like crazy all day” days during which I will surely have many fascinating ideas to blog about but few opportunities. But I want to leave the possibility that I may get back to blogging later tonight open, so rather than writing a big, thoughtful post at the moment, here’s a question:

What happens if you’re a female porn performer and you’re suppose to be doing a scene shortly and you have… well… gas? Like painful, swimming around in your guts gas that you know will want to be expelled soon but isn’t quite ready yet? This just occurred to me because I got an e-mail from a friend this morning who was supposed to go to a class and who was worried because she had monstrous gas pains and was afraid she’d let one rip in the middle of her MFA class. That would be embarrassing. And it got me to thinking. We’ve all been in a situation at some point in our lives when we had an unexpected bout of gas and feared going into a public situation, but think how this must compounded if that public situation involves taking off all your clothes and letting some poke you with things. It must be nerve-wracking.
And then I thought, well hey, maybe porn performers have some advice for the rest of us! I’ve never heard a story of a woman having a massive fart-attack during a scene (although maybe I’m just missing out on some of the funniest stories in porn history). Maybe porn people have the best gas cure in the whole world! Maybe they know some move you can perform in the bathroom that will take care of it!
Then again, maybe they just eat carefully the day before to avoid these situations, but that’s not nearly as much fun to imagine.

Anyone out there know any details? Anyone have any fart stories? Help a girl out here!