I’ve been writing answers to people’s sex and relationship questions here and on WHACK! Magazine for a while now. And I’ve been pondering the questions people ask me in person when they find out that I write about porn–the role I play as the middle ground between the “inside” of the porn industry and the “outside” consumer culture. I think there’s something really important going on here.
I realized last night when I was thinking about how to turn this rare perspective of mine into an art exhibit in the spring that I don’t find porn itself particularly interesting. I don’t think I ever have. Nor do I find the majority of pornographers or consumers all that interesting, generally speaking. I think what I find interesting is the interaction between them–the way in which pornography is made and sold, and the way in which the larger society accesses it, freaks out over it, embraces it… all of that. There’s an interplay between the two worlds–which are, really, just one world that doesn’t like looking at itself in much detail–that is fascinating. It tells me much about the people around me, and even more about myself if I’m willing to be honest about it. I’m usually not. And neither are most of the rest of us. Which is what makes being lodged here as an insider/outsider hybrid so fucking rad.
I have never understood people who perform in porn. Not really. I can get the idea of why it would be fun–physical pleasure for pay, attention, easy-ish money, glamorous lifestyle… All of these things make sense. But I would never be able to do it. I’m uncomfortable being videotaped. I have a very small, very sickly exhibitionist streak. I like sex but I don’t think my body would take hours of intense sex very well on a regular basis. I could never do it, and though I can recognize why others would, I don’t understand them. The camera doesn’t make me come alive.
But that’s why it’s interesting. If I understood it, that part of the puzzle would be solved and I’d be bored. And while I will never be able to understand people who become investment bankers, either, or ever want to do that myself, I think examining those who have sex on camera is a lot more interesting than cracking open the psyche of Wall Street. I’m in an exciting and exotic place here, perched like a gargoyle looking into the building I’m outside of, and lucky me, they’re having sex in there!
What I want to do with this art show is make myself a direct conduit for those inside to look out, and for those outside to look in. I want to spend time interviewing consumers of porn and pornographers. I want to find the threads that tie the inside and outside together, tie them to my fingers, and connect them myself. I want to spin a gorgeous web out of it all and show it off.
So tell me: what are your questions? What do you want to know about the other side? About porn? About watching porn? About me? Send me your questions (firstname.lastname@example.org) or Tweet me (@misslagsalot) or FB me (Miss Lagsalot) or just leave a comment. I want your ideas, your questions, your fears, your fantasies. Gimme gimme…