Neck Massagers Are Deadly

>This just in: electric “neck massagers” can kill your if you use them “properly.” According to MSNBC, a Florida physician was using her “massager” to “massage” her “neck” when it “became ensnared on her necklace and strangled her.” Two things:

1) That sucks in several ways. Obviously it’s tragic that she died, but beyond that, it’s a damn travesty that a physician didn’t know how to properly utilize a neck massager. I mean, it just vibrates. What the hell do you have to be doing with a vibrating wand to have it become that entangled in your necklace? You’d have to be performing some very creative neck massaging… wait…

2) I bet you a whole lot of money she was properly utilizing her vibrator! Sometimes when I’m about to have a big huge orgasm, I suddenly find myself gasping for breath because I get so focused on getting that climax that I actually forget to breathe. My survival instinct usually kicks in just in time, but I wonder if I videotaped myself if I’d be blue in the face. Maybe this lady was using her massager to massage her private-r parts and felt such a huge cum coming that she kept holding off for just another second, and another, to breathe, and she ended up suffocating herself. Or maybe I’m just weird and nobody else holds their breath before orgasm… Anybody?

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