I came at Adam Glasser, AKA Seymore Butts’s upcoming book, Rock Her World: The Sex Guide for the Modern Man, with more than a bit of skepticism. First of all, I’m a woman, so it wasn’t even really written for me. Second, I’m a woman who – through virtue of much research and several writing gigs in the arena – knows a lot about sex already. And third, I’m a woman who knows that there are a lot of porn folks out there who don’t know as much about sex as they think they do. Seymore Butts could have been one of them—those guys who are famous for their ability to keep a rock hard cock for hours on screen but who any woman could tell just by watching that they have no idea how to really make a real woman really feel good. As one of the reigning kings of gonzo and anal porn, Seymore was going to have to seriously impress me with his knowledge and ability to put it down in writing to get a good reaction out of this jaded reviewer.

And damned if he didn’t pull his spotted dick out of the bag and show me a thing or two with it! Rock Her World was probably the most accessible, entertaining, nonjudgmental, comprehensive, and downright hilarious piece of pussy-pleasing advice I’ve ever read. Not only is the book packed with all kinds of useful suggestions, tips, bulleted lists, graphs, charts, instructional drawings, and humorous anecdotes, but it offers up all this information in a down-to-earth, no-frills tone that doesn’t talk down to its obviously-less-knowledgeable readers. But nor does it try to make excuses for them—by reading this book, any man worth his salt is implicitly taking on an alluring challenge: learning how to not only satisfy a woman, but learning why the tactics he’s using pleased her. And Glasser expects his disciples to learn well. From explaining why readers should take his advice seriously by providing some background on his long and varied sex life, to suggesting positions for threesomes, to offering a guide to STD symptoms, to providing detailed instructions for tongue movement during cunnilingus, to a five-step plan for easing a reticent woman into anal sex, the author gives his readers every trick he’s learned over the course of his dealings with 600+ sex partners.

There is so much in Rock Her World worth reading—from hysterically funny personal accounts about his Taco Bell bathroom anal sex faux pas, to ways to recognize porn and sex addiction, to ways to surprise a woman with sweet, nonsexual gestures—that I can hardly go into them all here. Suffice it to say that I think the book is one that every man should read, if he wants to do better in the sack and the relationship game; and it wouldn’t hurt for more jaded, cynical women like myself to read it, either. Glasser’s biggest asset in the book is an easy and deep understanding of women, but he certainly couldn’t achieve such comfort with the topic without also showing in plain terms the desires and workings of the male mind, as well. And, hell, I learned some things about my body and my orgasmic abilities that I didn’t even know before—coming from a seasoned filth aficionado like myself, that says a lot.

Ladies, go buy a copy now, read it covertly over the next week, and then give it to your guy for the holidays. Guys, if you don’t get this book in your stocking, pony up and buy one for yourself. If you’ve ever had a question about female ejaculation, proper deep-throat preparation, or what to do if your dick is cut off—and since you’re reading this weird piece of smut, you probably have—here’s a book for you. It’s due out on November 12—this Thursday—and will be getting prominent placement in Barnes & Nobles across the country. You can also pre-order it here from Amazon. Come on, perverts, you know you wanna! – Miss Lagsalot

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