Darling readers, in the month I was gone, a whole lifetime of insanity seems to have gone by in the news. I thought of writing a few posts about some of the things that have happened in my absence, but the blogosphere, I’m sure, has already taken care of Gingrich and Bachmann and Perry, discussed Sandusky into oblivion, and kept right on rolling. So I’m going to keep up with the pace and direct you to a few fun, a couple outrageous, and some absolutely batshit links for your back-to-work pleasure this week! Enjoy! Or, you know, foam at the mouth with rage. Or whatever rocks your boat.
1) Some bad news first: this study from the Center for Disease Control was, in fact, released over the time I was gone. But it’s so important I’m reiterating it. I’m going to just quote from GlobalPostbecause typing the words hurts my soul:
3) The baffling: Rick Santorum. I can’t believe I’m actually mentioning him in a semi-serious context. This guy has been pissing me off for YEARS, but when he became an internet meme, courtesy of the legendary Dan Savage, and lost his Senate Seat a few years back, I thought the world had gotten its priorities straightened out enough to see him for the peurile infant he is. Apparently, says Iowa and the three-ring circus that is the GOP race, I was wrong. There are so many things I find abhorrent about his politics and so many links I could post to that it overwhelms my poor mind to even think of being thorough, but his latest gaffe was comparying gay marraige to polygamy in front of a college Republicans in New Hampshire. On the basis, you see, of the foregone conclusion that both gay marriage and polygamy are inherently wrong. And their evilness, it seems, connects them in his mind, which seems to be void of all logical reasoning skills. How two men getting married translates, in his mind, to the same thing as three men getting married… well, it’s beyond me. But so is the idea that non-procreative sex, even within marriage, is bad. So I guess we’re just not on the same level.
But anyway, the upshot of this is that, whether because young Republicans these days are more open-minded or have just more recently studied how logical fallacies work, the students he was speaking too openly booed him for making this comparison. The forces of reason: + 1. Santorum -587 (approximately–I’ve lost count).
4) The head-shake-inducingly gross: And this is a rather minor story, given that most of the civilized world already knows that New Jersey governor Chris Christie is something of a wallowing, porcine specimen of political weirdness, but yesterday at a Mitt Romney (whole other story) ralley, when he was heckled by some female participants about jobs going down, he responded, and I quote: “You know, something may be going down tonight, but it ain’t going to be jobs, sweetheart.”
Apparently this man isn’t aware that calling a woman you don’t know “sweetheart,” especially in public and as a politician, is frowned upon. Not just by feminist extremists, but by anyone who’s ever gone through a workplace sexual harrassment training. Or, you know, anyone who respects women. And that’s without even mentioning the actual gist of what he said. Was he implying that random hecklers in the audience should stop heckling and give him a blowjob? Or that he would give them oral sex if they shut up? Or…? I can’t even wrap my brain around this one. What a pig.