MOMENTUM: Day One

You know, I’m just a late kind of person. I rush out of the house at the last minute, bitch and moan the whole way to wherever I’m going about the public transportation system so I can blame my tardiness on it instead of me, get lost when I surface, and am generally miserable at showing up looking put-together.

MOMENTUM Con, it seems, is no exception. I almost missed my train to DC yesterday afternoon, dawdled at Union Station to meet a friend, showed up at the convention ten minutes after registration ended (but thank goodness Tess and Diva are way cool and were still registering people when I got there), and then couldn’t find a seat at a table in the ballroom because everyone else already had their drinks and ice cream sundaes. In short, I was a mess.

But even though I got to the party late and left early to meet a friend for drinks in Dupont Circle, I still was blown away by the short time I spent at Momentum last night. For serious. First, Maria Falzone, the Italianest of the Italian comedians, warmed us all up with her comedy routine, “Sex Rules.” I wanted to hug the woman. Her platform is, “For Christ’s sake, talk to your kids early about sex!” She made a series of valid points, including (and I heart this) that the outer part of the female reproductive system is called, collectively, the vulva, not the vagina. I’ve been twerpily telling people this for ages now, and getting nowhere. Thank GOD someone else is out there spreading the good word about spread legs! Her daughter’s third word was, she says, “vulva,” and she wishes more women grew up knowing their own bodies and feeling less shame about them and about sex. “Predators feed on shame and ignorance,” she said, before launching into a great line about how when she’s called “cunt,” she turns around and says, “That’s juicy cunt to you!” Hearts!

Then the opening panel. Look, when you can say that you’re sitting in a room with some of the people you admire most in the world for their outspoken activism and brains… and then Tristan Taormino, Dr. Carol Queen, Reid Mihalko, and Jenny Block took the stage for the opening panel… that’s a fantastic night.

More on the details and thought-provoking discussion later! Gotta get coffee, some greasy food to cut the hangover, and head to the convention center. I’m already an hour and a half late. Sigh. Someday I’ll learn to be a real grownup and get up at 7:30 after drinking till 2:00. Someday.

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