My Most Interactive Story Yet: The Zombie Adoption Program

I’ve been telling stories my entire life, from reporting on other people’s experiences as a journalist, to writing my memoir, to penning a sex-positive graphic novel, and beyond. But I’ve never worked on an interactive story before. As of today, that’s changing with the Zombie Adoption Program (ZAP)—my newest brain-child!

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Handsome Farmer Curtis, who runs the Zombie Adoption Program.

About the ZAP

Handsome Farmer Curtis (a character from Mr. Guy: Zombe Hunter, a graphic novel I’m editing via Oneshi Press) was just a simple farmer. Like so many, he was trying to move forward in strange and frightening times. He’d tried the conventional approaches to zombie control, even went as far as to hire a zombie hunter… But that was big-time spendy, and the clean-up sure was a chore.

That’s when it hit him.

Heck, these shamblin’ types were just trying to un-live their best after-lives! Why spend all his hard-earned cash on zombie hunters when instead, he could give these un-dead folks some tender loving after-life care? So, he decided to turn his farm into the Sanctuary for the Living Impaired. 

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Carrrl, Dinah, Wilms, Bobby, and Xanadughhh are all up for adoption today at!

First, Adopt Your Zombie

The recently un-deceased individuals in residence at the Sanctuary need food, clothing, shelter. You know, all the things that make the after-life worth un-living! With your help, Handsome Farmer Curtis aims to make that happen.

You can adopt a zombie today for as little as $3 a month. Then, you’ll start getting monthly updates and art of your un-dead pal. But more than that, you’ll help guide their after-life!

Next, Decide What They’ll Eat (and lots more)

Vote on the important decisions about their care every month. Then watch the story you tell unfold as the zombies settle in to their after-lives on the farm.

First up? Zombie food. The recently un-deceased are notorious for their outsize appetites. And the five folks under Handsome Farmer Curtis’s care have started sizing him up with a certain gluttonous gleam in their eyes…

So, what will he feed these ravenous residents?

  1. His prize-winning cow, Lucy?
  2. Tofuman: A soy product textured and flavored like human flesh?
  3. Or his leftover Halloween candy? (After all, there haven’t been trick-or-treaters since the apocalypse started…)

Only the zombie adopters can decide!

Sign up today at to choose your favorite shamblin’ type! Then start voting on their feed and other important aspects of their after-life care!

Extra-special sign-up bonuses! Everyone who subscribes in October will get a special welcome package, including a handwritten letter from Handsome Farmer Curtis, a sweet sticker, and a postcard about their zombie. And, for the next week only, ZAP co-creator Caleb Palmquist will draw a selfie of you and your adopted zombie! So hurry!

Subscribe soon at!

Then, Party!

If you’re like me, you love getting all gussied up and spooky for All Hallows Eve. But this Halloween is kind of a bummer—stuck inside at home. But, hey. Just because we’re not out and about doesn’t mean Halloween 2020 has to be boring! Tonight, you can celebrate the launch of the Zombie Adoption Program with me!

The ZAP crew—that’s me, Jayel Draco, and Caleb Palmquist—will go live on Twitch tonight! We’ll carve pumpkins, eat boozy brains (really!), and talk about zombies, starting around 5:00 Mountain Time (7:00 Eastern/4:00 Pacific).

Join in via live chat whether you’re adopting a zombie or not! I want to party with you!

Never miss a story launch, a memorable sex-positive link, or any of the “titillating, winking bawdiness” that comes with my mailing list! (And, hey, check it out: I’ll give you a sample of my graphic novel when you sign up!)

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