THE TANTUS FEELDOE VIBRATING DOUBLE-ENDED DILDO — “If you like double penetration, you will fucking love the Feeldoe.”

If you can say the name of this toy five times fast, you win a pussy-eating prize, I’m sure!  If your tongue can manage to trill out the likes of that phrase in such quick succession, I feel confident you can eat a lady out till the cooze comes home without breaking a sweat. But if, like many of the rest of us lovers of labia, laboring at cunnilingus for long periods of time is sometimes exhausting, and occasionally you wish you had a double-ended dildo that was easy to use and stimulating to both of you, without all the straps or difficulties of your average strap-on or double-ended dong. Well, lucky for everyone in the whole wide world who enjoys double penetration, and getting your girl off without too much head-scratching over where this strap goes or how to keep this end in that hole while the other one is doing that other thing… the Tantus Feeldo Vibrating Double-Ended Dildo is here! It may sound intimidating, but take a look at this beautifully designed and incredibly useful toy and imagine the pleasures of using it for all your lesbian, trans, or even hetero double-penetration needs!

Haha, this is great, it’s like I’m writing an infomercial for a sex toy when what I mean to be saying is, “If you like double penetration, you will fucking love the Feeldoe.”

No, seriously. As much of a gender-bending bisexual as I like to think I am, the idea of double-ended toys had always been a bit scary to me, very likely because of an experience with a little horror flick we all remember fondly as “Requiem for a Dream” and my childhood hero, Jennifer Connelly, being violently double-penetrated along with another drug addict as abusive men tossed money and chanted “Ass to ass!” Of course, I’ve seen many a lesbian porn scene since then that involved double penetrating toys, and even a few live sex acts featuring the same thing; they all looked far more pleasurable than that initial horrifying movie moment, but they also looked kind of complicated. Someone always had to keep a hand on the base to make sure both women were getting the same amount of dildo, or straps had to be adjusted and figured out and sized correctly with the dildo being used, or something. It was all too logistically confusing for me, especially given that when I get naked with my lady friend, I’m often in a state of such excitement and anticipation that the idea of figuring out how to use a toy is far too much for my sex-addled mind to compute.
Enter (literally) the Feeldoe Slim, which said lady friend recently purchased and kindly — and kinkily (is that word?) — introduced my formerly terrified-of-two-ended-toys ass to. The Feeldoe came out of its box all slim and shiny and smooth, inviting to the eye and pleasant to the touch, and I licked my lips almost without noticing it. A bottle or two of wine and a shortish time later, the Feeldoe entered first my lover and them myself, and then both at the same time, and it proved that, despite my initial fear that it would just fall back out of me when I tried to anchor it in my doo-dad, it is just as pleasant and pleasurable as it looks.

Here’s the basic idea: one of you inserts the bulbous end into the orifice of your choice, though I believe that Kegel would have us believe the vagina would be the best, and, having anchored it thus with the use of one’s pelvic floor muscles, sweetly uses the slim end to enter the waiting orifice of the other partner. It’s that simple. Even after all the wine and my typical sweaty-palmed excitement, figuring out how to use the thing didn’t take me more than a few seconds. And the Feeldoe’s slender shape and smooth feel helped make the process easy for both partners, but the design is so brilliant that, when things moved from sweet and romantic to wild and spank-ass-ing, the Feeldoe kept right up with the motion of the ocean. I mean it. Just because we’re both ladies does not mean that my lover and I don’t get crazy; bottle(s) of wine notwithstanding, I seem to remember some spanking, slapping, dirty talking, and lots of “Look at me I have a cock!” posturing  going on while I was the anchor. It was… ahh… divine.

Though the Feeldoe is only anchored via the muscular abilities of its user, it sticks in there like a champ. I will admit that at one point I got so excited (it’s double ended, don’t forget; even when I’m the one doing the active penetrating, I’m still being penetrated, and the motion I’m putting into fucking my partner is being reflected inside my own self) by the sensation and the sight of myself having a cock — now I know how it feels! — that my own orgasm was strong enough to push the Feeldoe’s bulbous end almost violently out of me! This caused a moment’s confusion, but I don’t think there was any discomfort on either end.

Alas, our first time out of the gate we were too excited to use the toy, and too intoxicated perhaps, to bother with inserting the bullet vibrator into the back of the toy. Perhaps I’ll try it tonight and report back to my randy readers…

—Miss Lagsalot

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