As you may have noticed (and wept over? yes? …no? damn.), I’ve been absent from blogging for a few days, and there is indeed a reason for that. After last week’s Cinekink madness, I have so much other work to catch up on that didn’t get done because I was traipsing off every night to watch super sexy cinema that I have been running around stressed and exhausted trying to get everything done. This has made me realize that long-winded, ranty blogging every day of the week may just be taking a lot of time out of my busy schedule and, well, boring the crap out of readers, very likely. So, an announcement:
1) I must, for reasons of sanity both for myself and my readers, cut back my blogging frequency and length, dearest ones! I will now be blogging three or four times a week on average, rather than every day, so that when I feel a need to rant at length, I will have more time to construct a slightly more responsible and reasonable rant. I will very likely be posting links and small tidbits more often, as well. Get ready, we’re going into “chilled-out” drive!
2) Oh, another announcement: it’s about that time again, folks! I need sex questions! Dr. Lags, Sexpert, has been dormant for far too long! Send me your questions, your problems, your weird relationship/sex/body issues, your deepest fears (yes, Clarice…) and scariest memories! I will fix them for you! Or at least yap at you for a while about possible solutions! Either way, we’ll have a great time!
3) In ridiculous news for you to ponder: Mark Regnerus’s book “Premarital Sex in America” rears its controversial head again as a basis for Ross Douthat’s article in a New York Times, “Why Monogomy Matters.” This article, which really never gets around to explaining why monogomy matters, is a rather laughably inane look at how less promiscuous people tend to be happier and why returning to a time of sexual morality (that never existed) is probably best for all of us, deigning unworthy of discussion the fact that many other things associated with unhappiness and depression (low self-esteem, seeking approval from others, recklessness, etc) are often, unfortunately, also reasons for promiscuity and therefore the two might be incidental rather than intrinsically linked. But it’s still worth a read and a ponder: for instance, what about other relationship models aside from monogamy? What about ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, polygamy? Are those people “promiscuous” and depressed, or more sexually open and happy? How does that enter the picture? Oh, wait, those people are all mental cases. We don’t talk about them. They don’t apply to the “normal” demographic we’re talking about. *Eye roll and sigh*
4) I hate to pick on Tracy Clark-Flory because I really do like a lot of her writing and she’s a really nice person, but… “The Unsexy World of Porn Wrestling” really got me annoyed the other day. Especially after exploring the world of kink last week at Cinekink and opening myself up so much to the things other people find sexy, I felt that saying that porn wrestling is by definition un-erotic was very small-minded of her. Sure, maybe it’s not erotic to you, but if there’s one universal in human sexuality, it’s that there is no universal definition of erotic. One person’s cringe factor is another person’s dream, and for many women who do porn and porn wrestling (especially in affiliation, as the match in the article was, with Kink.com), sexual power plays and humiliation are the epitome of sexy. I certainly support Tracy’s right to not find it erotic herself, and to write about her experience as one that confused her because it didn’t do anything for her, but to call porn wrestling patently unsexy? A bit closed-minded, to my mind.
5) Last night I met with a young Brooklyn playwright who’s writing a play about young feminist pornographers. We spent hours discussing porn and feminism and all our various theories and politics, and it was refreshing as hell. He wants to go to the Feminist Porn Awards next month, which is making me want to go even more…. news to follow…