SEXPERT ADVICE — I want to stop squirting.

Dear WHACK!

Sometimes, when boyfriend is eating me out really good or when he’s fucking me from behind… I squirt everywhere! I know it’s supposed to be “cool” and whatever, cause I know girls in porn do it all the time, but I get really embarrassed when it happens. It’s a LOT of stuff that comes out of me and when it happens I always have to stop right away.

I don’t want this to keep happening but I just can’t help it! How can I stop squirting?

—Too Wet For Comfort

Dear TWFC:

What?! …No, Seriously… WHAT? No. That’s my advice. No.

Do not stop squirting. What you need, you womanly wonder you, is to get INTO it. Throw down some towels next time you get your groove on so you don’t have ANYTHING to worry about, don’t spend any time thinking about whether it’s going to happen or not, and just let yourself feel pleasure. That’s all that squirting is—a way that some women’s bodies exhibit pleasure. It’s not gross, it’s not un-gross, it’s not anything but an outward sign that you feel great. It’s a celebration of your orgasm or your impending orgasm. And not only does it feel great for you, but it shows your partner that you’re feeling fantastic — that whatever they’re doing, it’s right. And that’s not always so easy for people to tell when they’re trying to please a woman. I don’t think people love watching women squirt so much because it’s aesthetically pleasing (though many, including myself, would argue that it is), but because they know the woman who squirts is a woman totally enjoying herself and letting it show. That’s the sexiest thing on earth.

Look, if it freaks you out that much when you’re with your man friend, spend some time getting comfortable with it alone first. Get your favorite toy and the latest installment of Big Wet Asses or whatever else gets you off, lay down some towels or something, and get yourself off as many times as it takes until you learn your body’s responses and how to enjoy them. Let the gusher fly when you feel it coming on, and let yourself give in entirely to the pleasure of it. Do that until you realize just how incredible it is that you can do this relatively rare thing, that your body is so excited about feeling good that it can do this, and appreciate your own sexual response. Learn how much actually squirts out of you so that when you’re with your guy, you’ll know how many towels to put down first. Learn how long it takes to get you there so you’ll be prepared when it happens. Learn what kinds of things make it happen so you can position yourselves accordingly when the time comes. Learn that it’s not gross, it’s fucking awesome. Learn to appreciate your body! And when you feel comfortable doing it alone, then whip out your newfound squirting skills and confidence for your guy. He’ll love it, and hopefully by that point, so will you!

—Miss Lagsalot

1 Comment on SEXPERT ADVICE — I want to stop squirting.

  1. RainbowBrite // November 20, 2013 at 1:09 am // Reply

    sometimes towels aren’t enough (or there aren’t enough towels). they make blankets designed for this, such as the Fascinator Throe by Liberator. it’ll keep the bed, couch, etc, from getting soaked. you might want to put a towel on top, as copious amounts of juicy goodness will pool on the surface of the blanket. also, DO follow the care instructions if you want it to last!

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